Ultrasounds always make me nervous. I have had some very bad experiences with the ultrasound machine, as
I have noted on this blog a few times before.
The first ultrasound I ever had was after the loss of our first baby at ten weeks. It was not a pleasant experience.
With my first boy, they were really worried that his head was way too big, so they sent me to all kinds of specialists, just to scare me. Turned out to be nothing.
My next series of ultrasounds were a little bit of hell on earth, ending with the loss of our little girl.
It took all of my courage to ever go near an ultrasound machine again with our next boy. He was fine.
With boy number three, everything was good until the end. And then those ominous words, “Oh dear, this baby is breach. You are going to need a C-section.”
The ultrasound for boy number four was a complete shock, seeing as I wasn’t even sure I was pregnant, and found out I was really five months along. I was numb with disbelief for a while after that one.
All that to say, I was not looking forward to this morning’s ultrasound. A little bit of nerves, a little bit of dread, a little bit of guilt for hoping it wasn’t another boy. But after my appointment, I may have to change my view of that little piece of technology, the ultrasound machine.