I am resolved (sort of)

once upon a time

Well folks, it’s a new year.  Christmas has come and gone with all its joys and busy-ness.  I am feeling a little blank, without the rush of doll orders, presents to wrap and holiday food to be cooked.  The Christmas tree is droopy, begging to be put on the curb and I think I stepped on the last chunk of candy cane this morning, which means I can finally mop.  But before I do so, I wanted to post this little something while I have the nerve.

New years is a time for resolutions, and there is a resolution I have been wanting to make for a long time now- years, in fact.

Simply put, I’d like to write a book.

There are a million and one reasons I have never actually done it.  I have probably attempted to start one every year for the last 15 years, but I have always given up a few paragraphs in.  I’m always too busy, too full of distractions, and too lazy to put in the time and effort it would take.  I am self-conscious about my writing and doubt my ability to do it.  I am also afraid, and unwilling to take the risk of spending all that time on something, only to have it rejected.

But I was reading something on Facebook- one of those ‘10 things you should do with your New Year‘ lists that seem so prevalent in my news feed these days.  A few things struck me, and they were, first-

“Stop waiting.  If you don’t take a chance or a risk now, when will you?  Time will always be hard to find.  Start now and go after what you want, or wait for later and hope it isn’t too late.”

And second,

“Stop doubting.  If you have a feeling that keeps coming back to you, make it happen.  When an idea keeps coming back, it’s probably for a reason.”

I’m not sure what that reason might be, but it is certainly an urging that I have never been able to shake off.  And the reason I am posting all these things on my blog is because I think I need something to help force me to continue past those first few paragraphs.  Maybe you would be so good as to nag me about it?  I would definitely welcome feedback as well.

Of course, I make no promises.  What I want to do might prove too difficult at this juncture- I might really not have the time, or the ability, or the guts.  But I hope that in posting a chapter at a time on this blog, it will help me to take criticism from others, and help me stop taking myself so seriously.  I mean, what do I really have to be afraid of? (other than the criticism and rejection of course)

Also, my husband, tired of hearing me whine that I couldn’t write because I don’t have a home computer, went ahead and bought me one for Christmas.  So now I have no excuse.

Happy New Year!

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