A Trailer Tale

Well folks, I know I have already started a book this year, and I’m not giving up on it just yet, but I find that there is another story that is being played out right in front of me in my daily life. I was thinking of keeping you all updated on the progress of our house by putting in a story form. If it proves too much to do, I’ll just stick to posting photos, but I think I’m gonna need this outlet, just to help me feel human through the next several months. So humor me, won’t you?

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Introduction

Yesterday my husband and I, along with our five children, moved out of our tiny house in the Projects. When we first moved into that house five years ago, we told ourselves optimistically that it was a temporary situation until such time as we would finally be in a position to finish the enormous fixer-upper (or money pit, whichever you prefer) that we had purchased years before, when the real estate market was booming and Steve had had a job with good prospects. I suppose that in the big scheme of things, five years might be called temporary, but in the daily grind, it had begun to feel like an eternity as our family of five stretched to six and then seven, and we were still in our small house, still in a terrible neighborhood, and still as far from finishing our big house as ever.

And so, one desperate day, we decided it was time to take a risk and make one last ditch attempt to complete the mammoth task that had been haunting us for so long. We packed up our belongings and moved back across town, almost eight years to the day after we had signed the fateful papers that made us the owners of a four-thousand-square-foot retreat for pigeons, rodents and stray cats.

Now you might think that it would be impossible to downsize seven people from a two bedroom, one bath situation. But once we had fit the bare minimum of our possessions into our new ‘temporary home’ (a trailer we had moved onto our property) we knew we had achieved the impossible. And after we had all five children bedded down for the night for the first time, my husband and I were able to agree with our good friend who had lent us the trailer in saying,

“Congratulations. You now live in a clown car.”

But this ‘clown car’ is sitting in the shadow of a house so large that it could hold a clown convention, if there even is such a thing. And that house is what we hope to make a home of. That house is what we hope will make living in a trailer and roughing it, pioneer style, worthwhile.

Chapter 1

It had taken us several weeks to make a slow transition from our small house to the property, sorting through all of our things, throwing away more junk than I thought possible for such a small space. There was even more junk to be tossed sitting in our big house, where we had been leaving most of our excess stuff for the past seven years. Sometimes, when people ask me about the house, I like to tell them that it is nothing more or less than the most expensive storage unit in the history of the world.
But after several trips to the dump and filling a burn barrel several times over with old, moldy, cardboard boxes (and mouse carcasses) and giving the place a thorough sweeping and shop vacuuming, we made the final move. We locked the door on our tiny house and began our new adventure by pulling into the backyard late on a Wednesday night.

The first thing I noticed as we clambered out of the van was just how dark it was. Not only that, but the stars were so bright that I could see Orion and the Big Dipper (the only two constellations I have ever been able to recognize). As I pointed them out to the boys, I wondered when I had last seen anything but the faintest star or two overhead.
The darkness and the clarity of the stars surprised me a bit, since the house is still well within city limits. But then I remembered our old house, how the building across the street had installed flood lights to keep night time loiterers and thieves away, and how each of those astonishingly harsh lights were pointed directly at our house each night, illuminating our rooms, obliterating the night sky and making midnight trips to the bathroom an eye-watering misery. The quiet darkness of our new yard seemed like a welcome silence after much excessive noise. But it also made it kinda difficult to see.
So I gave my oldest son James a key to the trailer and told him to run ahead and turn some lights on, while we unloaded a few more things. But instead of the beacon lights of our new home appearing, I saw a smaller one bobbing down the hill towards us and an excited voice calling through the darkness,

“Hey mom! Look what I found in the trailer! It’s a super cool lantern! Just follow me and I’ll show you the way!”

I laughed as I followed him, pointing out that we were really living like Laura Ingalls now. He replied that he would rather pretend to be Argus Filch, leading us to Hogwarts. But a more unlikely Hogwarts replica you will never find- the trailer consisting, as it does, of a kitchen/living/dining room space, a very small bathroom with no hot water and no functioning toilet and a ‘master’ bedroom, which is separated from the rest of the ‘house’ by a gray curtain and contains a decent sized bed with just enough space on either side to wedge yourself along and climb in. (Before long, we realized that it was far easier just to fling yourself.)

The real challenge of course, lay in getting all the kids down for bed at once. We soon discovered that if we took the removable kitchen table from off the wall to which it was attached, there was just enough room to fit Caroline’s pack ‘n play. Thankfully we had purchased the smallest portable crib on the market when she was born, so that it would fit into our old bedroom closet. I never imagined we would need to make it fit into a space smaller than that.
Next we found that the bench seat in the living room folded down to make an adequate bed for two moderate-sized bodies and we had brought a small mattress along from our old house, which just fit in the living room area, making bed space for two more boys. So there they all were, tucked in amongst all our unpacked bags and boxes, and ready, at least in theory, for bed.

And then a question came from the hubby, half-jokingly, half-serious-

“Sooo, what’s for dinner, babe?”

The poor guy hadn’t had a bite to eat since lunch, and here it was, ten o’clock in the evening. I had managed to stock some food in the tiny fridge the day before, but as for cooking anything, it appeared that one of the boys was using my box of pans for a pillow. And even if I had been able to make anything, the table had been replaced by a crib, and every available seat had been transformed into sleeping quarters of some kind. Also, the lights had to be off if any sleeping was feasibly to be done. So there was nothing for it but a box of wheat thins and a hunk of Cheddar cheese eaten in the cozy confines of our bedroom.

It was kind of romantic, in a way, and we had a nice chat planning out the next days events. But you didn’t really think that all those kids would just fall asleep like that, did you? We were soon joined by our fourth son, a precocious rascal of a child who has his father wrapped around every one of his fingers. He declared that he was owed a share of our humble meal and unabashedly demanded a handful of crackers. After daddy had generously filled both his hands and told him to avoid making crumbs in the bed (Did I roll my eyes then? Yes I did. ) he started in with his predictable stream of questions.

“So dad,” he began. What you must understand is that if dad is in the room, I might as well be invisible. “Are we weally wivving here now?”

“Yep. This is our new house,” daddy replied.

“Hmmmm. It’s a wot smaller den I thought it would be. How wong will we wiv here? Will we still be here for Chwistmas?”

“I don’t know buddy, we hope not, but we might be.”

“Aaaand what about birfdays?”

“Well, we will be here for some birthdays.”

“Whose birfday is next?”

“Mine!” I replied, and he turned to me as if finally finding me an object of interest.

“Oh! It will be yours? Are you gonna get wots of pwesents?”

“I’m not sure. That’s up to you guys you know.” And then, always curious to see what he will say in response to such questions,
“Are you going to get me something?”

“Yeeeess,” he returned, after some hesitation, “But what do you wike for pwesents?
Maybe you would wike…….some fish?”

“Ummm, well, (snorting back laughter at this ridiculous idea) I don’t really like fish very much.”

“Okay,” he continued, thinking hard, and then as if conferring on me the greatest of favors, “Well, I guess I will only get you one fish den.”

After thanking him graciously, I told him it was time to get back in bed, but his face fell so tragically at this proclamation that I had to laugh. He, however, did not think it was funny, and met my laugh with real tears.

“It’s okay C,” daddy consoled. “You don’t need to be afraid. We’ll be right here.”

“It’s not dat,” he wailed. “It’s dat I have to go to the bafroom!”

Now the trailer has a small toilet, as I said before, but seeing as it isn’t hooked up to the sewer, we won’t be using it. Thankfully, the vast majority of our children are boys, so daddy prepared him to use our default option (a nearby tree). But it soon became apparent that a tree would not suffice, and we would need to make the trek to the toilet.
Now using our other toilet is rather a production. It is located at the back of the big house, and the big house was locked up and in the middle of the night, a lightless void inside.
Christian is afraid of using that toilet, even in the daylight, so I encouraged him to be brave as we put our shoes on and picked up the lantern. This toilet is hooked up to the sewer, but it is not hooked up to the main water line, which means every time we use it, we have to refill the tank with a bucket. I told you we were roughing it. So I let Christian carry the lantern light, hoping it would bolster his mood, while with a bucket in hand daddy headed for the garden hose. Thankfully, I remembered to turn off the alarm before we went in, but even unlocking the creaking door made him whimper.

Bu in spite of all the encouragement we parents could lavish on him, the darkness and the spooky ‘bathroom’ proved too much for his four year old nerves, and after several minutes of his weeping and my cajoling, he ‘pwomised’ that he would never need to use the ‘bafroom’ again, and we were forced to give up.

We sighed as we headed back, re-locking the house and leaving the full bucket by the door in case we needed it again. But by the time we had reached the trailer, Christian had broken his recent promise. I sighed once again, and once again, daddy headed for the garden hose.

There next followed a cold midnight shower, during which I was amazed the entire neighborhood wasn’t awakened by the shrieks. But it was enough to wake the baby, who was also poopy. Half an hour later the small ones, thoroughly cleaned and snuffling back tears, were back in bed and finally drifting off to sleep.

I thought about crying myself for a moment, but I couldn’t summon the energy. And despite all the drama and all the adjustments I knew were ahead of us, I went to bed smiling instead. Deep down I was still glad that we were here- still excited that over the next few weeks, we might just start to see some progress, and overall, relieved that the spirit of adventure in me hadn’t died quite yet.

And I reminded myself, as I knew I would need to over and over again in the coming months, that God was big enough to handle the big things in life (overwhelmingly large house projects) and the little things (the emergency midnight bathroom sagas of a four year old child). Somewhere along the way, I fell asleep.

This is our story

Well folks, this might be my last post before I fall off the grid, so to speak, and blogging might start to get spotty. My little house in the projects is echoing bare and empty. I have enough eggs and milk in my fridge here for the morning and have started stocking up my little trailer fridge. (it didn’t take long to fill that thing up, let me tell you) I did a deep cleaning of my big house today in preparation for the fact that my baby will soon be crawling all over the floors. Well, at least as deep as I can clean with windows that are open to the elements and never ending piles of rubble in the corners that seem to produce never ending heaps of dust. And I’ve sorted the last box of stuff for long term storage.

These past few weeks have been exhausting both mentally and physically. There have been a few moments of sheer panic where I have felt like we are making the biggest mistake of our lives. And there have been moments of joy and excitement as we begin to dig in and get our hands dirty, all the while imagining what it might be like to finally be done with this project. But whether we succeed or fail in the attempt, I hope to be able to acknowledge (with a cheerful heart) that this too is part of the story of our lives that God is writing.

This story- this tale that God has made me a part of, is so drastically different from anything I ever could have imagined in those days when I used to plan out my future. My plans were modest, unambitious and mostly centered around my home town, marrying a boy from my home church, having my own children so that I could add to the number of extended family already surrounding me. On days where I was feeling particularly ambitious, I dreamed of doing something as crazy as opening my own bakery. But on most days, even that seemed like reaching too far.

My story has, of course, looked nothing like that. Within five years of high school graduation I had somehow or other spent a year abroad and consequently married a man who was definitely not from my home town. I had ended up in college three thousand miles from my family and earned a degree in vocal performance, which last I checked, had nothing to do with baking cookies. And then down the years- moving and moving and moving again- having babies and losing babies- having jobs and losing jobs- making what we thought were good decisions only to find out later they were the worst decisions we could have made- but also finding amazing grace emerge from the seemingly darkest times.

Throughout these many years, I have often felt as if I had not control whatsoever over our story- like a pawn in the hand of an Almighty (and sometimes careless) God. I remember when we were living in Memphis several years ago- in an apartment complex in a bad part of town- the only white family for miles, or so it seemed. It was a difficult time for me- adjusting, trying to sort out what it felt like to be a minority, trying to be friendly to strangers in a strange world but really wishing I could just hide until this part of my life were past. During that time, we had some friends from our new church over for dinner. I was embarrassed to have them, since our living conditions were less than ideal, and it was clear from the moment they walked in our door that they had never been to this part of town in their lives. After their initial exclamations of surprise were past, they began trying to figure out how we came to be there.

Were we missionaries? Did we have a ministry to these people? Was there an organization we were part of? Surely there was some greater overarching purpose to explain why we lived where we did. But no- the simple answer was tough circumstances- Steve’s job and the fact that we had been apart for six months had finally forced us to be where we were. We hadn’t planned it- it wasn’t in the script. We seemed to have had no other choice.

Now of course that isn’t exactly true. Steve could have quit his job- I could have continued to live with my parents, any number of smaller decisions on our part might have changed the outcome of that time. I know, for better or worse, that we are responsible for our actions and that we are not helpless puppets pulled about on strings whichever way God directs. But I gave up a long time ago trying to sort out where human accountability and God’s sovereignty meet. Even so, I still feel helpless a lot of the time- that no matter how hard I try, the outcome of whatever we are dealing with is probably not going to be what I imagine or plan. It might be worse- it might be a good deal better- but in the end, it will be His plan, not mine.

Keeping all that in mind however- God might the author, but he has given me the role of main character. As such, he has made me capable of responding in a way that pleases or displeases him. He is letting me contribute to the outcome of my own story by how I act as each new circumstance rolls towards us. And as little as I might know about the final ending, I do know what kind of a character I want to be in the current chapter. I don’t want to be the timid and fearful woman that I so often see in myself, wanting to give up even before the next challenge begins. I don’t want to be the woman who lays on her bed and cries in self pity because her life doesn’t look like that of her friends. I don’t want to be the woman who is ashamed of the place that God has placed her, hiding herself from the world and those who might reach out to help.

That is who I don’t want to be. But who do I want to be? I’m not always sure what kind of character I am- my varying traits seem to change from day to day. But it is always safe to look to Jesus. Jesus who was poor and did not have a home to lay his head (we’re in good company!) But even more- Jesus, who lived his life in constant communion with the Father, asking for daily bread and not worrying about tomorrow. Jesus, who gave freely of everything he had, although he had so little. And Jesus, who died for us that we might learn to die to ourselves and live for him, no matter what the next chapter might bring.

Best Laid Plans

So this is just a quick update on our status, for all those who have been wondering if we are moved or not etc.  Short answer-we have not quite made the final move yet, and I’m reticent to say exactly when that is going to be since every day has thrown a wrench (or seven) into the works, gumming things up and generally slowing us down.  As I wrote last time, we finally got the trailer onto the property, but it turns out the trailer needed a few things done.  Nothing we can’t fix of course, but throw in a very capable hubby who is very capably working on many other houses, and things slow down even further.

It’s been a little bit comic, really.  The first thing that had to be done was to get some water hooked up to the house.  It’s amazing what you can’t do without water- something I discovered working over there for two days without it.  Let me tell you- a pack of baby wipes will only go so far.

The hubby finally got someone to turn it on, but of course, with all the cold weather we have had, one of the main pipes had burst under the house, and water was flowing where it should not have been flowing.  So we had to get that fixed.  Once it was fixed, we were able to function a little bit better (ie, a working toilet.) But there was already psychological damage done due to the lack of it on those days we had been there.  My four year old, who has always been rather particular about where he does his business, had a few traumatic incidents in our yard.  Again I say, a pack of baby wipes will only go so far.  But then, when we finally had the toilet functioning, he was terrified to use it because “dere was webs everywhere.”  We are working on knocking down the webs, folks, but he still refuses to use it, and had reverted back to where we were when we started potty training 18 months ago.  These are unforeseen hurdles.

Then there was the trailer, that needed some good cleaning and also a hole in the floor that needed fixing.  The electrical was a lot more work than I imagined to hook up, and once we finally got it hooked up, the refrigerator refused to work.  I am prepared, in theory at least, to live without a water heater, but I just feel like a fridge is one of those necessities. Perhaps I am being a wimp.  After all, Ma Ingalls lived without one.  But she had a cow to keep fresh milk in.

Then there have been all the normal moving hiccups- the inevitable realization that we have way more stuff than I thought.  Doing some serious purging- cleaning out all the stuff that has been in storage for years, (and finding several rodent carcasses amongst our treasures), fighting my boys tooth and nail for every moldy old toy that I wanted to send to the burn barrel and trying to keep the baby from filling her belly with foam insulation.  (thankfully my sister solved that problem by taking her off my hands for several days).

Then there is the emotional struggle that seems to make focusing impossible.  I really can’t wait to be finally moved over there, because this living in limbo between two houses is making me crazy.  But there is a sub-conscious part of me that is trying to hold onto the ‘comforts’ of our tiny house- my full sized fridge, freezer and stove, all my other appliances, my shower, and of course the internet, to distract me from what I should be doing. It doesn’t help that this is an abnormally busy season anyways.

“What did you say?  Did you say Easter was this week? But doesn’t that include holy week services and extra music and egg hunts and feasts? Shouldn’t we all have some nice new Easter clothes to wear? Shouldn’t I be making some fancy lemon desserts and roasting a lamb or something?   And wait, did you say it was my second born’s birthday today? But I didn’t even remember to wish him a happy day until lunch time, let alone have a gift ready for him.  And this weather.  Is it going to be cold or hot?  It’s dropping forty degrees tonight? But I already packed all the coats and sweaters, darn it.  And where on earth are the summer clothes?  My kid is wearing a black turtleneck and snow pants and its 80 degrees outside.”

So all in all, I think for sanity’s sake, we are going to stick to our little house through Easter Sunday.  I’d like to say for sure that we will be moved by Monday, but who am I kidding.  Tornado season is upon us, and you better believe I have my eye on the weather channel.  Because from what I have heard, tornadoes and trailers don’t mix.

At any rate, thanks for keeping up with our crazy adventure.  I hope to be able to post something more exciting soon, like progress on the actual house.  And thanks again for the donations that have continued to come in.  Every little bit helps, and there are a lot of little bits that need doing.  So thank you, thank you, thank you.

Chapter 5

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Still plugging away if anyone is interested….

Chapter 5

After I finished my fourth chapter in my literary career, I hit a wall.  I just wasn’t sure what to write since life has been monotonous in the extreme. School has been the same, day after day.  Dad still hasn’t got a job and Mom has been working long hours at hers, while Britt has been trying to wrestle with two.  Homework is just homework, janitor work is janitor work. I’ve been wishing that Adam would occasionally take some notice of me and have still been trying to convince myself that I wish nothing of the kind.   But today I can write again because today, something finally changed, and for the better,  But it took living through the worst day in history to get there.

I started the morning with the usual dream-intruded-by-alarm-clock routine.  I’d stayed up way too late trying to study for a particularly heinous history test, so I was doubly tired.  It felt like the sleepy hollow had swallowed me whole, and I couldn’t get out.  Eventually I just rolled out, landing on the floor and knocking that stupid three legged table on top of my head for the umpteenth time.  I left it lying there, grabbed my robe and stormed out the door, tossing a glare towards the snoring occupant of the top bunk.

If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, a shower generally helps steer me in the right direction, so I headed to the bathroom.  It was still very dark and I stepped on- oh, I can hardly write it.  Sometimes, when we forget to put Cinnamon (she’s our cat) out at night, she decides to do her business in the house, and always in the same spot- the bathroom mat in front of the shower.  We have tempted her with treats and fancy litter boxes to no avail- she will insist on using that rug.

So cursing fates and felines, I picked up the rug, hopped over to the toilet on one clean foot to shake out the remainder, and then wadded the mat up into a ball and hurled it down the laundry chute, telling myself not to forget to warn mom about it.  I then hopped to the shower, first rinsing my foot off and then the rest of me.

I did feel better after my shower, but as I was brushing my hair, wishing it was thick and shiny like Britt’s, I noticed a very large blemish on the end of my nose.  Generally speaking, I have pretty clear skin, so I’m not sure where this thing came from- probably history test stress.  I groaned inwardly and began fishing in the cabinet for something to help.  Now Britt keeps all manner of supplies and makeup in this cabinet, all purchased with her own hard earned money.  I tell people I prefer the natural look to wearing makeup, but the truth is, I’m just too cheap to spend any money that I might chance to come across on cosmetics.  However, this was an emergency.  I began slapping on creams and astringents and anything else that might reduce the swelling.  I found a nice shiny new tube of concealer and was too busy opening it  to notice another face in the mirror.  When I finally looked up, I saw that the face was Britt’s and it was looking disapproving..

I could tell by her face that she was getting ready to lecture, so I dropped the makeup and prepared to get the worst over with.  I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t guilty anyway.  She laid it into me pretty thick, about how maybe someday, I might think about buying some of my own things for a change- how she was sick and tired of all her sisters using her things without asking, and then losing or breaking or ruining them by leaving the cap off.

The minutia of her list of grievances told me that this was something she had been wanting to say for a while now, but had refrained.  I tried to defend myself here and there but then remembered the jacket I had lost and still hadn’t told her about or the bottle of expensive lotion I had just dropped the lid to and hadn’t bothered to fish out from behind the sink. So I just took the rest of the lecture in silence, apologized quietly, and slid out of the bathroom, my red nose glowing like a veritable Rudolph.

As I headed downstairs, I noticed the offending cat sitting on the step below me.  She is always grumpy in the morning, but this morning I was grumpier.  I had no intention of letting her claw my leg in passing as she is so often prone to do.  So I took an ill-judged leap over the next three steps to avoid her, and as she reached out a lazy paw to swipe in my direction, I clocked my head on the low ceiling overhang above me.

Finding myself crumpled at the foot of the stairs, I thought about returning to bed then and there and calling in sick.  But I knew that darn history test couldn’t be avoided.  So I added a throbbing forehead-egg to my list of today’s facial flaws and continued to the kitchen. I have been a morning person since early youth, and am usually the first one up downstairs so it was no surprise that the kitchen was still dark  when I went in.  Another non-surprise?- it was still raining outside.

We are currently living through yet another record breaking wet streak, although it’s hard to imagine how it can be worse than a few years ago when it rained for 52 days straight.  Normally the wet doesn’t  bother me too much, but after 53 days, I start thinking that ‘moderation in all things’ would be a good motto for the weather to adopt as well.

I opened the cupboard above the sink and my day suddenly brightened.  There was actually a box of granola left for breakfast!  I pulled it out, but it felt very light.  I emptied it into a bowl, half of it was sugary dust, but I didn’t care.  I had a moment’s guilt, finishing the box, but after all, the early bird gets the worm.  And if I ate fast, no one would have to know that I was selfish.

I next turned to the fridge, but I should have known on a day like today that there would be no milk.  In my opinion, there should never be an excuse for running out of milk- or at least the person who finishes it should say something about it.  My granola hopes dashed, I thought about toast.  But no, I was in a bad enough mood to insist that I deserved that granola- with milk.  The store wasn’t too far- just ten blocks or so, and if I took Britt’s bike, I could be there and back before anyone noticed.  I grabbed a jacket and a handful of coins from the bowl on the shelf and headed towards the backdoor when I caught myself, the scolding of just ten minutes ago dimly echoing in my ears.

“I am so sick and tired of my sisters borrowing my stuff without asking.”

I hesitated with my hand on the doorknob, but finally thought better of it and headed back to the stairs.  I jumped the cat again, this time remembering to duck my head, and within seconds, I was knocking on Britt’s door and poking my head inside.

There she was, sitting on her little bed, and having obviously just taken a shower, she was brushing her long dark hair- such a thick, shining mane.  I unconsciously began twisting my own straggly locks into a bun at the back of my head, as if to get them out of sight, and looked around.  Besides the bed, there was little else in the room.  A desk was in one corner, a very small and decrepit dresser -missing five out of eight drawer knobs- was in another.  The final corner was dominated by a lifesize cardboard cutout of Harrison Ford wearing a storm trooper uniform and pointing his blaster right at me.  Normally I don’t mind Britt’s collection of Star Wars paraphernalia, but this morning, I was in no mood to be shot at, by Han Solo or anyone else. I glared right back at his cardboard face.

“Did you want something?” Britt asked, wondering no doubt why I was making faces at the corner.

“Yes,” I replied, “I wanted to ask…”

But before I could make my request she interrupted, saying-

“I’m really sorry about yelling at you before.  I didn’t mean to, but I just get kind of fed up sometimes, having so many younger sisters and never being able to call anything my own.”

“You have your own room,” I thought grumblingly, but on the outside I just nodded.

She went on for a while, talking about the stresses of school and work and all the decisions she was having to make about what to do with her life after she graduated.  I feel kind of bad about it now, but right then, I wasn’t in the mood then for sympathizing, or anything else really except eating my breakfast.  So it was my turn to interrupt.

“Yah, so, umm, can I borrow your bike to run to the store real quick? We’re out of milk again.”

She looked on the verge of annoyance again, but catching herself, she smiled graciously and reminded me just to make sure and take the bike chain with me to lock it while I was in the store.

I figured this would be a bad time to remind her that the bike chain had been lost a few weeks earlier when Becca had had the brilliant idea of taking the cat for a walk, using the chain as a leash. As soon as the lock had clicked around Cinnamon’s neck, she had taken off like a ginger-colored streak, yowling hellishly.  We didn’t see her for a few days after that, but eventually she made her way back home.  She was still alive (only just) but she was missing the bike chain.

I was thinking about this regrettable incident as I made my way back downstairs, and so forgot to think about the victim of the story who was still waiting on the fifth step, claws newly sharpened on the armchair below and ready for a fresh attack.

I drew a sharp breath through my teeth as I felt the needle-like barbs pierce through my sock and grip my ankle. I aimed a retaliatory kick in her direction, but missed and hit the wall. Forgetting all pity for what she had recently been through, and thinking only of what I had suffered this morning at her feline hands, I felt she deserved nothing more than to be chucked out in the rain.  And chucked she accordingly was, but not before she added several long gashes to the top of my hands.

My acne-fied nose was throbbing, my forehead splitting, and both ankle and hands were oozing small trickles of blood as I headed to the back door again to make another attempt at the milk.

But lo and behold, whom should I find in the kitchen but a pajama clad pair of ruffians with their hands in my bowl of granola.  I stood there for a second, watching as they dug through the sugary fragments, searching for the biggest clusters.

“Hey!” I eloquently managed.  “That was mine!”

“It’s okay, we left you some,” replied Becca cheerfully, hopping off the counter and going to the fridge. Sam had the grace to looked a little abashed as I picked up the bowl and surveyed the few dried up raisins in the bottom.

“Oh bother,” said Becca, “Did you know we are out of milk?”

 

——————

 

Looking back over the day, I feel a sense of guilt, as if my bad mood cast a pall on everyone else.  We were late getting out the door, and in our rush climbing into the bus, (have I mentioned that we drive a 1979 Volkswagon bus?  Well, we do, and its brown and battered and the embarrassment of us all.) mom spilled her coffee.  Now my mother is normally the sweetest, most patient person in the world, but she likes her coffee.  So there was an unusual amount of snappishness in her voice as she told us all to buckle up.  The old vinyl seat belts were stiffer than usual in the cold, so I ignored mom’s command.

Sam and Britt had had a brief, though silent tussle over the front seat (Britt had won of course) and so Sam was sulking in the back next to Becca who was sighing over the rain and tracing pictures in the window condensation- lots of frowning faces and redundant clouds.

Mom wrestled the giant stick shift into gear, and we were off.

Soon Mom and Britt were having the same old discussion- about how Britt was one of the only people left in her class- probably the only seventeen year old in the world- without a driver’s license.  Mom was repeating her usual arguments against it, the most compelling of which was the fact that even if she had a license, she would have no car to drive.  Another indisputable fact was that no one else knew how to coax that old bus onto the road- not even dad.  Mom had taught herself the art over several patient years, and even yet, it was unpredictable.

To prove her point and in the middle of her sentence, the horn on the bus began beeping as if being pushed by an unseen hand.  It wasn’t a short little beep either, like it sometimes was.  It was one of those long, unbroken, moaning beeeeeps that tended to catch the attention of every other driver on the road.  A truck passed us on the left, staring.  I crouched lower in my seat.

Mom, no doubt due to her low caffeine levels, cursed ( if you can count ‘darn old horn’ as cursing) and gave it a good hard smack.  At the same instant, Britt suddenly shrieked,

“Mom! look out!”

The next thing I knew, I had been propelled forward and smashed into the back of the driver’s seat.  Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had ignored the seat belt command, because Sam suddenly appeared on the floor next to me.  Becca was sitting securely behind us, looking shaken but unhurt and mom was asking everyone in a strained voice if we were all right.

In the dark and rainy mist, and with the horn to distract her, mom had failed to see the roundabout in the middle of the intersection in front of us.  She had driven straight into it.

She and Britt climbed out of the bus to survey the damage, but they soon came back, looking relieved.  The curb of the roundabout was so high that it had stopped us dead in our tracks, denting the bumper considerably, but nothing worse. And seeing as the bumper was already dented in many places, we weren’t too worried.  Mom backed up the bus , we all buckled up this time, and we drove on, rubbing our necks but feeling thankful.

However, my thankfulness was wearing thin as we arrived at school.  A splitting headache was forming behind my eyes and we were running late.  When we arrived at school and joined the long line of sleek minivans and other vehicles five years old or younger, most of the students were hurrying through the rain on the front walkway, heading to their first period classes.  Therefore, there was a large crowd of spectators in place to watch, as two minutes later, our entire bumper fall off with an echoing clang when Becca slammed the side door.

There was a lot of snickering and pointing as Sam and I ran around to the front, picked up the muddy bumper and tossed it pell mell into the back of the car. Becca had the hysterical giggles again, and Britt looked, to use a worn out phrase, as if she wished the ground would open up and swallow her.  Mom gave us all a “I’m so sorry, God bless my poor girls” kind of look and drove away.  We heard the horn start up again before she had left the parking lot and it wailed into the distance.

Life had to go on however, so in spite of our burning cheeks, we each headed to our classes, cursing our poverty.  In all the chaos and disruption of the morning, I had completely forgotten, as I slid into my desk, that history was the first period of the day.  The tests were already being passed out, and I didn’t have a moment to explain why I was late, or even to catch my breath.  I started fishing in my bag, looking in vain for my lucky pencil, which I realized I had probably left by my bed, along with all my notes.

Resigned to the worst, I pulled out an old stub without any lead in it, and was about to ask if I could go and sharpen it when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.  Em was there, handing me a pencil and smiling encouragingly.  Her smile dimmed a bit as she saw me, and I realized I must have looked a sight, with my red nose and my purple egg, my clawed up hands and my clothes muddy from the ridiculous bumper.  I rolled my eyes, and whispered that I would explain later.  Our history teacher was looking disapprovingly in our direction.

The dreadful test was finally over, and even though I have no idea how I did, I was just relieved that it was done.  The next period was choir, perhaps my favorite class.  We have lately been working on learning Mozart’s requiem, and I was perversely happy when Mrs. Byrd asked us to turn to page 33- The Lachrymosa movement.

As Em began on the piano, the dark and doleful tones blended so perfectly with my mood that I started in a little too exuberantly. Mrs. Byrd stopped directing and looked straight at me.  Her voice gently said,

“A little less please, sopranos,” but her eyes exclaimed “Tone it Down, Natalie!”

I didn’t much care.  I was feeling better already.  If life was going to be such a vale of tears, I might as well be singing about it.

I even thought, a little rebelliously, that if I kept on singing loud, she might tell me to take a break with the singing and let me have a turn accompanying the choir for once.  She usually has various students on rotation to play, (mostly Em) but I have only ever had one shot at it, and I was so nervous, I failed miserably.  But I didn’t know how else I was ever going to improve in this area of my piano education, so I sang with all the gusto I had.  My neighbor to the right, quietly, but very noticeable slid her hand up and plugged her right left ear. Man it bugs me when she does that.

But at the next break in the music, instead of asking me to go to the piano, Mrs. Byrd asked instead if I would please sing the solo on the next page!  I wanted to say no, but didn’t know how.  Cheeks flaming and cursing my own foolishness, I prepared myself to sing alone in front of the whole class.  Thankfully, the bell rang with two measures to go and I smiled in relief.  Saved by the bell.  But no, she took me aside after class and told me she would like me to take all the solos throughout the piece, since my voice seemed strong enough.  I sighed resolutely, stomach churning at the prospect.

 

But thankfully it was now lunch time, and if there is anything that makes me feel better, it’s food.  When I got to the lunch room, I saw that the sun outside was actually making a break for it.  The room was flooded with the almost forgotten sight of sunshine and soon, I was not the only student sitting in my chair, eyes closed, sandwich forgotten, letting the golden light bathe my upturned face.

Our school is so small that everyone has lunch at the same hour, and it’s usually a pleasant time.  Em was sitting with me, and I had already regaled her with the tale of our woeful morning.  If she wanted to smile, she made no sign of it. although in the retelling, I could tell that it wouldn’t be long before I myself would be laughing.

I opened my eyes and noticed Adam sitting in the corner, by himself as usual.  He looked up, catching my sideways glance and I blushed infuriatingly when he smiled.  He looked almost as if he would like to get up and come and talk to me, but before he could make up his mind, all three of my sisters came and seated themselves around the small table.  I could tell that they wanted to commiserate about the mornings events, and although I understood, I couldn’t help being a little bit frustrated.

But before my sisters had even gotten past discussing the depressing breakfast of dry toast we had had, we were interrupted by the art teacher, Mr. Lowe who suddenly appeared next to our table.  It was most unusual for a teacher to venture into the confines of that room during lunch hour, and an unnatural hush descended.  We all looked up at him, perplexed, wondering if we were in some kind of trouble.

“Sorry to bother you,” he said in a perfectly friendly tone. “But I seem to have mislaid a stack of sketches that I was hoping to grade this afternoon.  I was just wondering if one of you might have seen them while cleaning my classroom last night.”

His voice was not loud, but in the sudden silence, it seemed to carry to every corner.  I saw Britt’s face redden and Becca squirm uncomfortably in her chair.  Involuntarily, I sneaked another glance in Adam’s direction.  He was watching the scene with an inscrutable expression on his face and I shifted my gaze quickly away in time to hear Sam tell Mr. Lowe, in a slightly shaky voice, that she hadn’t seen them.  The rest of us murmured the same.  He thanked us and unmercifully continued,

“All right, but if you happen to see them, could you let me know?  It’s possible they got thrown out, so keep an eye on the trash, will you?”  And then, thank heavens, he left, leaving behind him four rather devastated females.

We could sense the stares of the other students on the backs of our heads and I felt as if our secret was leaking out to every corner of the crowded room, filling up the silence until whispers and giggles took it’s place.

Em looked at us, pityingly.  But I could see that Sam growing angry, and she suddenly lifted up her head and looked around the room, as if defying anyone to laugh openly at us poor, destitute girls whose bumpers fell off in the rain, and who had to clean the school for tuition money.   Britt, scraping together all the dignity she could as befits the president of a school, calmly stood up, threw away her half eaten lunch and walked out of the room.

 

The rest of that day was as miserable as the beginning had been.  Everywhere I went, I caught people staring, whispering.  I told myself I was imagining things- that I was making too big of a deal out of the whole affair.  I tried to convince myself that I could care less what they thought of us, and as I had tried to convince Britt that first night we had discussed it- it was honest work, and nothing to be ashamed of.

But at the end of the day, I caught sight of my sisters in the hall and I could tell they had been having a rough time as well.  As I watched them each head to their lockers with a defeated slump to their shoulders, I felt like I could cry.  Then I heard a sneering voice, the voice of a particularly scrawny sophomore named Jake who always seemed to be compensating for his small size by being the biggest jerk he possibly could.  He was standing in front of Becca, one of the only people in the school smaller than he was and blocking her way as she tried to get past him.

From a distance I could see that he was holding a can of soda open in his hand, and as soon as he was sure all eyes were on him, he deliberately poured the entire thing out at her feet, until she was standing in a puddle of brown liquid.

“Whoops,” he said in mock dismay, “I should probably find someone to clean that up for me.  You couldn’t recommend anyone, could you Becca?” He laughed in her furious face for a moment, and then, dropping the can, turned to walk away.

I seemed to be frozen in place, too angry to move, but I heard a locker slam behind me, and I knew instinctively that it was one of my sisters.  I soon realized it was both as I saw them pushing past people in the crowded hall. The sight seemed to wake me up, and I joined in hot pursuit, unsure of what we were going to do when we reached him. The noise in the hallway seemed deafening, and I found myself desperately wishing that a teacher would intervene before Britt got a hold of the little punk, because I’ve seen what she can do when roused, and I knew it wouldn’t be pretty.

I’m sure Sam was thinking the same thing, since she seemed to be torn between comforting Becca and holding Britt back.  But before Britt could reach him, someone else stepped between them.  All of this takes time to write, but it really was only a few seconds and before my bewildered eyes could register what was happening, Adam Hale had taken Jake by the scruff of his scrawny little neck and gently but inexorably led him back to where Becca was standing with Sam’s arm around her.  Britt stood by, watching and waiting, but looking as ready as ever to pounce.

Adam looked calm enough, but I could see that his eyes were hard as he growled something in Jake’s ear.  Jake shook his head, squirming as if trying to escape.  By this time, everyone was crowding around, and most people were laughing, glad to see Jake getting his comeuppance, since he was the pest of the school.  Adam then shook him slightly, as if he were a big bulldog, teaching a little puppy a lesson. Another attempt at escape, followed by another and rougher shake, and finally Jake squeaked out an apology.

Becca looked as if she would like nothing better than to slap him, but she contented herself with a good long glare.  Then Adam turned the culprit around and marched him out of the hall, the suddenly silent crowd making a path for them.  No one knew what to do, or what Adam was going to do, and I found myself getting nervous again.  I thought of chasing after them, and telling Adam to let him go- that he wasn’t worth getting in trouble over, when the pair suddenly returned.  Adam still had Jake by the scruff of the neck, but he was no longer struggling and looked as limp and defeated as the wet mop he was dragging behind them.

People didn’t stick around much longer, especially when Adam asked in an impressively cold voice if anyone else had a problem with the Price girls. It was all so much like something you would see in the movies that we all stood by, a little shyly and uncertainly, watching Jake mop, and unsure of what to say.  We all felt that a thank you was in order, but Adam’s face seemed to forbid thanks, and to say that he was only doing what anyone else would have done.  But the thing of course was, that no one else had done it- only he had ignored the disapproval and the scorn of a school full of wealthy, privileged kids who had never had to earn a thing in their lives.

Once the cleanup was done, he allowed Jake to slink away with the mop, and then turned to the four of us, gave us a funny little salute, and left without another word.  After a few seconds, we suddenly heard the old church janitor, Mr. Paddock, suddenly raise his voice, demanding in strident tones “Just what do you think you are doing with my mop!”  We saw Jake scurrying up the stairs in a hurry, and we all grinned at each other.

 

That afternoon, after we had finished our own cleaning, we had a powwow in the sanctuary upstairs. We agreed we would never tell mom and dad what had happened that day, but we also agreed that we were done with hiding and secrets.  We didn’t have much of a choice now anyways, but we all felt it was time we manned up and owned the situation. It was a relief really, but the real joy lay in knowing that someone in the school had our backs.

“It’s almost like finally having a brother,” Becca said happily.  

A breakfast fit for St. Valentine

All right, I know that title doesn’t make much sense, but it’s late and I’m tired.  Also, I wanted to get this posted earlier today, but ran out of time.  It’s a recipe that I pulled together from many different sources, all in a continuing quest to imitate one of my favorite breakfast foods- a very specific kind of granola called Love Crunch.  Perhaps you have seen it.  It only shows it’s face around this time of year and it looks like this-

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Perhaps you have also seen the price tag for one tiny bag, making it definitely a one time a year treat.  Well, I challenged myself a while back to see if I couldn’t come up with my own version of the stuff to enjoy year round at a fraction of the cost.  And I must say, I have come pretty close.  If your interested, here’s what you need-

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The sun is a little bright here, but I used two 6 0z. bags of almonds (one slivered and one sliced) about a cup of walnuts, and about half a bag of those fancy freeze dried strawberries.  I forgot to put the dark chocolate in this picture, but I used about four ounces of good quality dark chocolate (chocolate chips work fine).

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Combine your oats (about ten cups) with all of your nuts.  I know this might seem a little pricey with all those nuts, but it makes so much more granola than those store bought boxes.

Now for the coating-

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Now I’ve played around with amounts here a good deal.  Sometimes I use all honey and no sugar, but the honey tends to overwhelm the chocolate flavor.  So normally I do about half of each sweetener.  To make it easier to remember, I use half a cup of everything here-

Oil (I used a light flavored olive oil and it worked great)

Honey

Brown sugar

Cocoa powder

Butter

Also a splash of vanilla and a hefty pinch of salt

Just put everything into a medium sized saucepan-

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Turn the stove to medium high, and let it all come to a boil, stirring frequently-

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Once that is done, just pour it over your oats in the bowl-

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And start stirring-

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and keep on stirring until everything is evenly coated.

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Since this is such a large batch (you can always halve it of course, if you aren’t feeding seven) I need to use two sheet pans to bake it.  I use these, with silpat mats for easier cleanup.  The silpat isn’t necessary, but parchment paper might be nice.

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Now divvy up the goodies.

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And into the oven it goes at around 325 degrees.  This does take a little while to bake- about an hour, and you will need to stir it around occasionally.  If you are using two sheet pans, be sure to let them trade places about half way through.

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You will know it’s done when the nuts start smelling toasted and it starts turning a nice golden brown.  If you aren’t sure, just fish out a sample, let it cool and taste it.  It should be nice and crunchy.  Let the pans cool while you do this last step.

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You don’t have to use freeze dried berries here, but I find they add such a nice strawberry flavor, and I am not a big fan of chewy things in my granola like raisins or cranberries.  But do whatever you like.  Granola is super flexible.  But you have to have the chocolate in here, or it wouldn’t be that different from other granolas.  (I used the special almond chocolate for and extra Valentine’s treat)  Just give all this a rough chop, unless you are using chocolate chips.  In that case, just the strawberries.

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So here is the nicely baked granola, which is really quite delicious in itself-

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But these last two ingredients really take it over the top, both in looks and taste.

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Once it has fully cooled, store it in an airtight container.  I filled up two and a half of these.  Not bad!

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It should keep good for several weeks if it lasts that long.  It sure doesn’t around here!

So enjoy and happy Valentine’s day!

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I am resolved (sort of)

once upon a time

Well folks, it’s a new year.  Christmas has come and gone with all its joys and busy-ness.  I am feeling a little blank, without the rush of doll orders, presents to wrap and holiday food to be cooked.  The Christmas tree is droopy, begging to be put on the curb and I think I stepped on the last chunk of candy cane this morning, which means I can finally mop.  But before I do so, I wanted to post this little something while I have the nerve.

New years is a time for resolutions, and there is a resolution I have been wanting to make for a long time now- years, in fact.

Simply put, I’d like to write a book.

There are a million and one reasons I have never actually done it.  I have probably attempted to start one every year for the last 15 years, but I have always given up a few paragraphs in.  I’m always too busy, too full of distractions, and too lazy to put in the time and effort it would take.  I am self-conscious about my writing and doubt my ability to do it.  I am also afraid, and unwilling to take the risk of spending all that time on something, only to have it rejected.

But I was reading something on Facebook- one of those ‘10 things you should do with your New Year‘ lists that seem so prevalent in my news feed these days.  A few things struck me, and they were, first-

“Stop waiting.  If you don’t take a chance or a risk now, when will you?  Time will always be hard to find.  Start now and go after what you want, or wait for later and hope it isn’t too late.”

And second,

“Stop doubting.  If you have a feeling that keeps coming back to you, make it happen.  When an idea keeps coming back, it’s probably for a reason.”

I’m not sure what that reason might be, but it is certainly an urging that I have never been able to shake off.  And the reason I am posting all these things on my blog is because I think I need something to help force me to continue past those first few paragraphs.  Maybe you would be so good as to nag me about it?  I would definitely welcome feedback as well.

Of course, I make no promises.  What I want to do might prove too difficult at this juncture- I might really not have the time, or the ability, or the guts.  But I hope that in posting a chapter at a time on this blog, it will help me to take criticism from others, and help me stop taking myself so seriously.  I mean, what do I really have to be afraid of? (other than the criticism and rejection of course)

Also, my husband, tired of hearing me whine that I couldn’t write because I don’t have a home computer, went ahead and bought me one for Christmas.  So now I have no excuse.

Happy New Year!

The Challenge Continues

I am sure you all have been on pins and needles, waiting to see if I managed to solve the puzzle of the ‘too small house’, so here is an update of the boys room.  After much thinking, I decided to keep the boys room as the boys room.  They really do need the space, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage nap and bedtimes with the girly in there.  So she will be in with us.  But more on that later.

If you recall my last post on the subject, here are the before pics of the four corners of the boys room.

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It was one of those projects that, once I began it, I wondered if it were worth it.  Things got pretty hectic in there for a while.

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My first idea was to get as much excess furniture out as I could.  So the white shelving unit found a home in a corner of the kitchen, where I like it much better.

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And then there were the dressers.  We have had those two stackable dressers/shelves since my oldest was born, and even though they are old and beat up, they are incredibly sturdy, so I wanted to keep them.  But I wanted to clear out the closet if possible, so out they came.

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Remember the deep freezer I had in this corner?  I measured it and thought it might just fit in the closet, so I unstacked the dressers and put them where the freezer was.  I also put up some little curtains over  the shelves, since they really aren’t very pretty.

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I had hoped the freezer would squeeze into the back of the closet, but I failed to calculate the baseboards into my measurements, so it didn’t fit as well as I had hoped.  I had to make a decision.  Which space did I value most- the boys room or my pantry? The pantry had a corner where I figured I could fit it just as well.  I decided it would make more sense in the pantry, so the boys helped me move it.  It does make my pantry a bit crowded, but it is so nice not to have a freezer in the boys room anymore!

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The ugly cot went into storage, and a toy chest got repurposed to my room.  But I still wanted more space.

I wanted a place that I could dedicate solely to the storage of legos, which, as you can see, have slowly been taking over the house.  So I came up with a crazy idea that I wasn’t sure would work, but I wanted to try anyway.

Here is the final outcome, for now.

Corner # 1 –

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I tried to fit all shelves and dressers here, and just managed it.  There are shoes and toys in the dresser drawers instead of clothes.  I got each boy a box for their clothes, that hopefully will help them put their own clothes away and keep them somewhat organized, instead of stuffed pell mell into a drawer.

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Corner # 2-

There really was no where else to move the piano, so this corner just got a good spruce up.  I put a lot of the music and books into storage, and hid other toys neatly in boxes on top. And what piano is complete without a pirate ship?

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Corner # 3-

Here is where things started to get a little crazy.  I decided to get rid of the bottom bunk of the bed, keep the top bunk as a loft bed and use the space underneath as the “lego room.”

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The boys love the new space, since with enough blankets tucked around the edges it easily turns into a fort.  And I am trying to implement the rule that all legos must stay within the confines of the bed/fort.  We shall see if that works. Ha!

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“Umm, but where are the boys sleeping?,” you might be asking. Good question.  No, I am not making all four of them sleep on the top bunk.

Just follow me to corner # 4, and I will reveal my hair-brained scheme.

This is the school room/closet.  The boys nice clothes are hanging on the left, my clothes are hanging on the right. (that’s part of my room rearrangement).  But what are those blue things hanging in the corners?

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I’m sure the suspense is killing you.

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Hammocks of course!

I found the hammock idea online, but didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on a project that I wasn’t sure would work.  So I went to the Goodwill and lo and behold, found a huge piece of sturdy blue canvas for ten bucks.  I cut it in half, added a loop of extra fabric from the armoire project to string some rope through, and had the hubby install some heavy duty rings into the wood frame of the closet.  The other side hooks underneath the top bunk for sleeping, and they store neatly away in the corners during the day.

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The boys have gone nuts over them.  They have been sleeping in them for about a week now, taking turns on who gets to sleep on the top bunk and who gets a coveted hammock. So far it is working.

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I was worried of course that letting the boys sleep in swings would get out of control very quickly, but it is actually working much better than having three or four of them piled together on the bottom bunk. They seem to sleep well and comfortably, and putting the hammocks away in the morning is much easier than making a bed.  So far so good!

So that is probably as much as I am going to do for the time being.  It freed up a considerable amount of space, got rid of a bunch of clutter, and gave the boys a few exciting new features to their room.  Now I just need to finish a few things for little girlie’s space.  So until next time!

 

Christmas is coming….

I am just realizing that we are more than half way through October, and I am still a long way from my “6 plane tickets for Christmas” goal. So I spent some time this week designing some christmas themed dresses, just to remind myself to keep on working, and maybe just remind you folks that the holidays really are just around the corner ; ). I thought to myself, “How do I like to decorate my house for Christmas?” The first thing that came to mind was of course a Christmas tree, so I designed a christmas tree dress.

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It’s pretty simple, but if I have time, I’d like to add some beads or sequins or something to make it a little more festive.

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Here’s a view from the back if you’re interested.

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My next favorite holiday decoration is probably holly, so I went for a very simple skirt and blouse so the sprig of holly could stand out.

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I thought it would go well with my red wool horse, but I already sold that one, so I’ll have to make another.

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And last, but not least, even though we hardly ever have white Christmases around here, you’ve gotta have snowflakes.

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Embroidering these little snowflakes made me think that she might need something to keep her warm, so I added a little cape and beret, ’cause I’m a sucker for capes and berets.

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So there we are, all ready for the holidays! What are your favorite Christmas decorations?

Engagement

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I wrote a while back about my sister, about her long road of struggle and grief, her indecision about her future, and then her sudden and unexpected romance. That romance has blossomed quickly and took a giant leap forward this week when they announced their engagement. I am so excited for them and am praising God for such a surprising happiness. I have loved hearing their tale, and if it were mine to tell, I would record it here. But all of this has caused me to take another walk down memory lane to the night of my own engagement, and I thought I would put it down here for posterity, so my boys can know what a romantic their father was.(and is)

The hubby and I met the last week I was in France (another story worth telling). We hit it off pretty quickly. I can’t quite say it was love at first sight, but it was pretty darn close. It was helpful that we were both enrolled at the same college the following fall, or we may never have gotten further than that last crazy week in France. We corresponded that summer, and then met back up at college, and were seriously dating from day one. We talked big about graduating and finding careers before we got married, but after two years of staying up way too late talking in stairwells and getting very little studying done, something needed to give. We started talking about bumping that marriage thing up a bit.
It was getting near to Christmas, my sophomore year. We were preparing hard for the annual Madrigal Dinner concert series that the music department put on every year. But amidst all the singing and holiday busyness, I started noticing my roommates acting suspiciously, whispering together, or ceasing their conversations abruptly when I walked in the room. Then my favorite ring went missing. I knew I had left it above the sink, and was worried that it had fallen down the drain. My roommates wouldn’t give me a straight answer about whether or not they had seen it. But a couple of days later it magically reappeared. I was curious.

The Madrigal Dinners ran for three night in a row, and what with finishing up classes and finals and packing to go home for the holidays, I forgot my suspicions. The first night of singing went well. Then came the friday night performance. Steve took my sister as a date that year, since I was up on stage, but I noticed he kept leaving the hall. In fact, he missed most of the dinner, and I couldn’t figure out what he was doing. My two roommates had decided not to go to the dinners that year, and asked, since they said they were feeling left out of the festivities, if we could go downtown after Friday night’s performance for coffee and dessert. I was feeling pretty exhausted, but told them we could go, and afterwards, tried to persuade Steve to go as well. He was reticent since it was so late, but a big group of people decided to go, so he joined in. We all piled into two vans and started towards down town.

About five minutes down the road, we saw flashing lights. There was a bad accident, with a flipped car blocking both lanes. We stopped, and I suggested that maybe we should wait and go the next night instead. Steve spoke up against this plan in a surprisingly vehement manner. He told my roommate to turn around and we would find some back roads. I was surprised at his determination since he hadn’t really wanted to come in the first place, but asked no questions.

We got there eventually and sought out our favorite coffee shop. It was a cold night, and I wanted to sit inside, but everyone else in the group insisted we should sit outside and enjoy all the holiday lights. I was so tired I didn’t argue, but sat talking at a separate table with Steve, sipping my coffee, and wondering about the frantic search that was quietly going on in the group. I noticed my roommate feverishly digging through her purse, and others surreptitiously crawling under tables, hunting for who knows what. But I asked no questions.
I was beginning to relax and enjoy myself as I watched the festive horse drawn carriages pass by, when one suddenly pulled up right in front of us. The driver asked politely if anyone would be interested in a carriage ride. With surprising eagerness, my roommates, sister, and everyone else in the group jumped right up and crowded in behind the driver. Then they started hollering at Steve and me to join them. I just laughed since the carriage was already ridiculously overcrowded. I said we would be fine, staying put, and Steve agreed. They all seemed really disappointed, but I kept waving them on until just then, another carriage pulled up right behind the first. Again we were offered a ride. My friends continued to urge, we continued to decline. I mean, I didn’t even know how much a carriage ride would cost, and Steve said he was pretty sure he didn’t have enough. I was a little annoyed when my friends kept hounding us to take it, and then a little worried when Steve finally gave in and helped me in to the carriage.

Off we went, clipping along the beautifully lit streets, and there I was, all the while hissing in his ear about how we were going to pay for it. He kept telling me we would figure it out, so I tried to relax. Occasionally we saw the group in the other carriage in a side street, or crossing the intersection in front of us. Every time we saw them, they were hanging eagerly out the sides, waving and watching us intently. I was still completely clueless. I can’t even remember the conversation we were having, when suddenly he got down on his knee. I thought he was joking and told him to get up, but he persisted in kneeling. And there he was, proposing, and I, like an idiot, was wondering how on earth he had a ring in his pocket when he didn’t even want to come downtown in the first place.
In all the confusion, I finally realized that this was the real thing and I managed to stammer a happy yes. As I said it, there was an audible sigh of relief from the driver! He turned around grinning and apologized, explaining that the last time he had a proposal in his carriage, the girl had said “no” and the rest of the drive had been a silent and awkward misery.
The ride came to an end as we neared the coffee shop again, and there was the other group, waiting on the curb. Steve gave a thumbs up, and they all burst out cheering. In my dimwittedness, it was only then that I realized the whole thing had been a set up- my roommates wanting to go to coffee, the ‘random’ group of people who joined us so as to fill up that first carriage, and the perfect timing of the second carriage. When we got back to campus, I discovered that just about every student and teacher there was aware of what was happening that night, but me. I’m still not sure how I missed all the clues.
Later, as I kissed my fiancé good night, something heavy fell out of his pocket. He sighed as I bent to pick it up. It was an exquisite little black wooden box, lined with velvet and containing a beautiful piece of quartz, with a slit in the center just big enough to hold a ring. The bottom of the box had fallen apart, and I looked at him, puzzled. He then explained to me why he had missed most of the dinner that night. He had been sneaking out to the carpenter’s shop to put the finishing details on the little ebony ring box he had been working on. But the wood had proved too hard for nails, and gluing hadn’t worked much better. He finally managed to get it to hold together, and entrusted it to my roommate’s purse for the drive downtown, but it came apart along the journey. Thus the frantic search at the coffee shop for a missing ring, and a broken box in his pocket.
I still have the quartz and the pieces of that lovely little box, even though it never got to serve it’s intended purpose. I take it out occasionally, just to remember the crazy, wonderful hilarity of that night and all the crazy, wonderful years that have followed, riding side by side together.

Hares ‘n Horses

I like a little alliteration in my post titles, have you noticed? I’m not sure what the difference is between a rabbit and a hare, or a bunny for that matter. It doesn’t really matter with stuffed animals, right? I mean, it’s not like they are anatomically correct or anything. But I digress.

Here is my latest set of creations, up-cycled from the giant chest in my bedroom, filled with clothing from a previous era. You know, back in Nicky BC (before children). I am finally coming to grips with the fact that I will never be fitting into those clothes again, and I feel better about it, because they are being put to good use elsewhere. Like here-

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These were once the most wonderfully soft beige pants, and now they are a wonderfully soft beige rabbit, for someone’s new granddaughter. Don’t you love the pink ears?

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And I wondered how a little horse would look if I made him out of my brown wool tweed slacks from yesteryear.

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I think he turned out pretty nice.

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So then I thought I’d go really bold with a skinny waisted, red wool skirt that would’ve taken a miracle for me to zip up.

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I’m a sucker for anything bright red, and am so glad I didn’t get rid of that skirt, ’cause I love it as a horse!

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Here they are sizing each other up, comparing cuteness.

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Which one wins? You be the judge.